hallway of angels

Hallway of angels stretching endlessly through my dreams like a hospital corridor abandoned by God

White lights buzzing overhead sharp as judgment beneath sleepless eyes

Every door along the walls carried somebody’s name I failed to save emotionally

Every shadow looked holy until it moved closer and revealed grief underneath

Motherfucker I wandered barefoot through that hallway night after night

Cold floor pressing against my skin like penance from another lifetime

The air smelled like antiseptic, wilted flowers, and unfinished prayers

Like heaven and suffering signed a lease together inside the same broken building

Bitch the angels there didn’t look beautiful the way churches describe them

No golden wings

No peaceful smiles

Just exhausted faces glowing pale beneath fluorescent halos

Like overworked nurses watching humanity bleed itself empty repeatedly

One angel smoked cigarettes beside a vending machine at the end of the corridor

Mascara running down her cheeks like black rain across marble statues

She looked at me quietly then asked why you still carrying dead people inside your chest

That question followed me deeper than scripture ever has

I kept walking anyway

Passing wheelchairs

Empty beds

Family photographs taped beside closed doors like desperate attempts at immortality

Every room humming softly with invisible sorrow

Hallway of angels

Where forgotten souls pace circles around their regrets eternally

Where lonely mothers pray beside dying sons

Where addicts hallucinate redemption moments before their pulse disappears

Where love survives longest in waiting rooms beneath artificial light

Fuck I recognized some faces there

My childhood friend before addiction swallowed him completely

Eyes still hopeful beneath bruised skin and trembling hands

He smiled weakly and said we were supposed to grow old together

Then dissolved into static before I could answer properly

Another room held my younger self

The sensitive kid writing lyrics beneath blankets while parents argued downstairs

Tiny hands gripping notebooks like survival manuals

Already learning how isolation sounds at an age when children should only know cartoons and sunlight

I wanted to grab him

Warn him about all the future damage

Tell him sensitivity becomes dangerous in a world addicted to emotional numbness

But dream logic kept my body frozen beside the doorway

Motherfucker there was a woman praying at the far end of the hallway

Hands folded so tightly her knuckles looked skeletal beneath the pale light

She whispered names over and over like sacred chants against oblivion

Maybe that’s all prayer really is

Love refusing to accept disappearance quietly

The angels kept moving around us silently

Collecting grief like janitors cleaning after emotional disasters

One carried broken watches inside transparent bags

Another dragged black feathers stained crimson at the tips

Another hummed funeral hymns softly enough to sound almost maternal

Bitch even holiness looked traumatized in that place

Like divinity itself grew tired of witnessing human suffering endlessly recycled across generations

Like heaven developed insomnia from listening to too many desperate voicemails from Earth

I passed a mirror hanging crooked near the stairwell

Didn’t recognize the motherfucker staring back initially

Eyes hollow as abandoned cathedrals

Cheekbones sharp from stress and nicotine

Soul looking partially detached from the body carrying it

Behind my reflection stood another angel

Tall

Silent

Wings folded like burned curtains against their back

They leaned close enough for me to hear breathing colder than winter graves

You keep romanticizing pain because joy abandoned you too early

Then they vanished

Leaving only silence heavy as wet concrete around me

Hallway of angels

The place where unresolved trauma waits patiently for acknowledgment

The place where dead relationships replay their final arguments forever

The place where lonely people dream about reconciliation knowing damn well some wounds never close completely

I opened one final door near the end of the corridor

Inside sat every person I ever loved and lost

Ex lovers

Dead friendships

Family members emotionally distant despite physical proximity

All gathered around a long table beneath flickering candlelight

Nobody spoke when I entered

They just stared gently

Like mourners at a funeral where the deceased hasn’t realized he’s the body inside the coffin yet

Fuck that silence shattered something inside me spiritually

Because suddenly I understood

I wasn’t grieving them anymore

I was grieving every version of myself that existed while loving them

The hopeful version

The trusting version

The emotionally reckless version willing to bleed openly for connection

And all those selves were dead now

I backed away slowly

Heart pounding violent as church drums during apocalypse sermons

The hallway stretching longer behind me impossibly

Angels watching quietly from every doorway as I ran toward waking life desperately

Then I opened my eyes finally

Bedroom dark except for city light leaking through curtains

Chest aching

Pillow damp beneath my face

Phone glowing beside the bed with no new messages

Just silence again

Just ordinary loneliness pretending not to be supernatural

Just another exhausted motherfucker waking from sacred nightmares

Still haunted by hallways where angels wear tired eyes and carry humanity’s grief like secondhand smoke through eternity