safe?

I lock my doors but i leave my soul cracked

Smile at the world but keep my thoughts packed

Sleep with the lights on just to feel seen

Talk to my notes more than human beings

Eyes on me but they don’t know nothin’

Talk too loud and my hands start runnin’

Trust too fast and the mask get torn

Then they bounce when the scars look worn

How i cope with the silence?

How i hold back the sirens?

How i fake calm in the violence

When my heart beat loud like a riot?

I walk home lookin’ back at shadows

Every hug feel like a gamble

Love feel fake, pain feel standard

And “how you been?” feel like a scandal

Is this paranoia or protection?

Is this trauma or just reflection?

Am i broken or just aware

That safety don’t exist nowhere?

Safe?