The wool of this cardigan is heavy
It smells of cedar and old mistakes
I am unbuttoning the years now
One by one, they drop like stones
Into the tall grass by the fence
I thought I had to be a monument
Steady as the granite on the hill
But even the mountain yields to rain (It all washes away eventually)
I remember your voice in the yard
It sounded like dry leaves on gravel
You expected a cathedral from me
I was only a small wooden chapel
I release the anger I held for you
It was a rusted nail in my palm
I let it fall into the dirt
The soil knows what to do with rust (Let it go into the earth)
The light is changing to a pale ochre
It catches the dust on the window
I am not the person I was
When the frost first bit the vines
The growth is quiet and deep
It happens in the dark below
Where the roots find their own way
Most of all, I forgive this woman
The one who tried so hard to please
I see her standing in the orchard
Reaching for fruit she couldn't touch
It is alright to have empty hands
The palms are soft and ready now
I am the hawk and the open sky
I am finally my own true name (Finally, I am just myself)